Gassy Head

My head feels like someone has slowly been pumping air into it, and it might explode if you stick it with a pin. In other words, I have a headache.

Time to blog! It's Labor Day. I wonder if pregnant women find it amusing if they go into labor on this day. But then again, do pregnant women find anything amusing?

I think I will shut my music off now. It really is a distraction whenever I try to do anything besides exercise/dance/stare at the wall for hours. Sorry, Gwen, that's just the way the cookie crumbles.

Ah, sweet silence. What do do? What to do? I am almost certain at this point that I am a fairly useless human being, and yet I always feel this nagging little urge to do something useful. What is useful, anyway? Is it defined in terms of value to me, or to other people? Is it possible to ever make a basic definition for useful that everyone can agree on? You see, this is what useless people do when they want to justify themselves. They philosophize.

And now it's time for a rootbeer float.

It's a fine day for a brainfart

Welcome to my blog! No one knows about this yet. Can you keep a secret? Good!

Today's special is hot, hazy and hellish, with a side of sidewalk-fried eggs.

Cognitive function is in a state of steady decline. It won't be long now, say the doctors.


There are certain small things that can suddenly make life worthwhile:

• an after-dinner mint cleverly consumed in the morning, for variation's sake.

• a surprise mint M&M that you find in your jacket pocket after 15 years.

• Creme de Menthe liqueur, especially if it's green.

And today's theme is (can you guess it?)...MINT!

Big green minty gusts are blowing out my ears. Please do excuse me! I am painfully aware of the social unacceptability of this situation.